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EAST COASTS PIERS RACE PART 11

If your memory serves you well you will remember that half a dozen boats from the Island Yacht Club competed in the East Coast Piers race with various success and failures, i.e. the author being the failure and success going to the Turner Towers squad.

With last years bad performance and most of us missing the nudist beach, we decided to do the event again with some old timers and new additions to the Race which included the little man himself Brian and what have I let myself in for Clint Turner who intern was being crewed by Lee big smile Wood.  The old timers were John who brought his son, “can I stay up late” Danny (but don't tell his mum it was past 3.00 am) Bell.  Rob Page and Darren Wood. The MM crew was present including the older version of Babe Watch Sue Turner, Lloyd and Kevin Big Bus Turner.

With all the wives, kids and even a mutt deciding to travel Friday night, the front field soon resembled a politically correct pikey camp with Motorhomes, Caravans, Tents and most importantly the beer, “sorry the boats”. The BBQ was soon on the go including the biting mossy’s, which were out in force. Not to be put off, we were soon sprayed up and the numbing effect of the drink, the camp was soon overflowing with old friends and laughter.

Saturday was upon us and with many having sore heads, rigging the boats became very much like a Japanese torture game. Given we are mad Englishmen; we carried on so we could be ready for the early start on Sunday. With the boats rigged we were soon joined by the remainder of the Island gang, which increased our tally of 6 dinghies.  This was not the last of it, as John Linton, crewed by "I didn't break it honest" Ian Cuthbertson and Brian "lets have it" Keenlyside together with  “can I stay on the sunny side so that I can get a tan” Lorraine (Ian’s Wife) sailed round from the Island Yacht Club in the newly finished Farrier.

We did have one interloper from the Benfleet Yacht Club Dave Chamberland who parked his boat with us. We helped rig his boat, and for Inter club relationship, there was no mention of the Cruiser Team Trophy, we won. With our field now packed to capacity, we had more visitors from the Island yacht Club, which gave us the queue to light up the BBQ before the England V Portugal match. With time on our hands, we signed in for the race and ensured that we had all the necessary safety equipment. Somebody shouted, “I have no flares” (I think it was John Bell), “don't worry just take your trousers you wore last week.  (I thought I just chuck that one in, sorry)!!.

With the big game approaching the Turner’s passion wagon was soon overflowing with friends to watch the game.  As you already know, we lost to an Argi ref and a Winker.  With everybody slightly down from the footy, we took ourselves to the Green man at Bradwell for a nice meal, (I think its called the green man because of the Nuclear Power Station next door, I know I will be corrected but save yourself as I'm not overly fussed in wanting to know really).   Also it was Mark and Laura Wood Wedding Anniversary so a big green hand for them.

It was straight to bed once we were back from the Pub as we knew we would be awoken by the crow at 06.30 am, which didn't happen as we reckon somebody shot the crow last year or did we cook it on the BBQ Friday night “who cares “ we gained an extra hours kip. After a big hearty breakfast we were soon ready and on the slipway for the off. Yes, we have wind for a change, but with a strong tide it already became a slog to the line, it was even made worse, when we tried to hoist the Spinnaker and found that a Spinnaker up haul was tangled round our jib wire. So we had to sail to the other side of the Blackwater turn the boat over in the mud and re-do the

Spinnaker - great start.

With this now, complete we had the boat upright and making our way to the start, but we were soon dodging mud bombs, which was falling from the top of the mast and sail. With a good shake we had the last of the mud off, but the boat looked like had just been in for a pamper day at a local beauty parlor with mud all over it. Well at least it had a good complexion after the race.  With the boat now in camouflage grey mud, we sneaked up to the line as we only had a couple of minutes to go. No gun but we were off and had a great start for a change, but after going for a 100 yards the rescue boats were soon yelling for us to turn round as this was not the start. We gibed the boat round in the light winds and at the exact moment, Cuffy in his wisdom decided to tack which saw us fending off the trimaran we didn't get run over or have a closer inspection of the underside of John's Boat. Worse part they didn't even offer us a cup of tea.

Ok we were now on the 2nd start, which went well, but we got stuck in the middle of the fleet. With this, we tried to creep up and into the corner of Osea Island, but as we reached the corner, we just stopped for no reason. Whatever we did, the boat just came back to one spot. After some time we manage to move off.  As usual we lost the fleet and it was time to catch up, I think its called de ja vu, as I'm sure we done this last year. Then again, for some reason the Blackwater is never friendly to us and it’s a lottery which side of the river you go. To quantify this we managed to catch up part of the fleet, but we decided to go further across and on the tack back, we lost miles up to Bradwell Power Station. With the wind slightly increasing we started to gain on some boats and when we went round the Bradwell Buoy we had over taken them and were now heading for Colne Point. We decided to try a different tack from the rest and went inshore to catch the breeze.  This played lovely as we were managing to point really well and were going at a nice speed; even better, we were heading for the Nudist beach, just as we were getting into eye range, we had to tack away, due to a fishing boat and some rocks.  However, this actually worked in our favour as we had a nice lift and made Colne point and also put some more boats behind us. As for the rest of the Island gang they were ahead of us, but we were gaining on them due to expert tactics in Mark Wood falling asleep on the leeway hull which made us point and drive the boat that much better.

With the course now shorten to turning around at Clacton Pier we continued to plug away and saw some nice sights on the beaches, but what does amaze me is jet skiers who go on the water with no brains. In sustaining this we did come across a yacht that was not watching were he was going, had the tiller tied up and was motoring. He soon had a sharp awakening when we called starboard on him and then watching him panic in trying to untie his tiller. Just goes to show you must keep a look out, as he/she was not the only ones, back to the racing we manage to catch Rob and Dal at the Clacton Pier mark and on the turn mark in popped Clint and Lee on their Spitfire. Just goes to show you come all this way and who do you meet your own club members at the mark.

First was Rob/Dal 2nd Clint/Lee and then us, we all had a Spinnaker up and with the tide rushing along the coast we decide to keep inshore, Rob/Dal, Clint/Lee went out hoping for more breeze. We saw that Rob had a small problem with his Spinnaker which let us get ahead, Clint also went in front, but we soon had our own problems in that the Spinnaker sheet had come undone and would need retying. We put the boat head to wind, but knew we had to do the other side because they are connected. We gibed the boat round and then put it head to wind again. With our troubles, this allowed our fellow club Member's to get away. So it was catch up again. Before this, we were hungry so it was decision time, some nice little Bistro on the way home or the Canvey's answer to the F word, Sue and Amanda on the rib with all the sandwiches.  Lucky for us they took switch, "for the older Members of the club that is a credit card,” after leaving a tip and taking all the mints, we were back on route to Colne Point and the Nudist beach again. On reaching Colne we had to gibe out to Bradwell which left us frustrated again due to not seeing any nature birds and seeing the others getting better wind and clearing off. We decided to try and make Bradwell in one therefore sailed inland a distance and then up to Bradwell Power Station to the mark. This did work, but we did play chicken with a Spitfire when we were on port. I said to Woody if he calls starboard, I will tack, but for some reason he waited to the last moment to do it. In the end, we went past him with feet to spare, but he did throw his toys out of the pram. Trouble was when we came back across the Blackwater he was coming back on port, to be fair we went round the back of him so we didn't get hit by one of his toys, but I was in the wrong in the first instance.

The final leg was now upon us and with the wind being fluky again we stayed in the middle of the Blackwater which was paying very nicely, but Rob/Dal saw this and covered what we were doing which kept them ahead of us and over the finish line. We soon followed with Clint before or just after us, but overall it was a very hard slog up to Clacton against the wind and tide. We were happy with our result, but if only we can get out of the Blackwater quicker and I could sail in light airs better then I'm sure we could finish in a better position. In saying this the weekend was brilliant even though England lost to Portugal.

To sum it all up it was nice to see more Members from the Club taking part in the race and John Linton entering his new trimaran, which certainly got the Club, noticed, even though he did take up half of the start line and made the biggest wind shadow. Kevin and Lloyd in the top ten again, Clint/ Lee and Rob/Dal doing their first East Piers Race, Grandad Brian taking part in the Colne Point race and being the oldest competitor, John and Dan Bell also taking part in the Colne Race. Lastly, I like to thank all the wives, kids and special thanks for muttley for not peeing or leaving a deposit on the boats.

Are we doing it next year, yes, as one day I will get to sail out of the River Blackwater without swearing, until next year, ‘Happy Sailing’?

By Mark Mawditt.